Hilarious but true VI by Isaacola AA

It’s becoming an everyday thing to see a certain man making animated calls on my way to work every morning. Like most Nigerian phone users, he will be talking at the top of his voice with every part of his body gesticulating with an added thrust to get the message across. I won’t lie to you, I hardly understood the man initially. Why must I see you every morning, on my way, in the same pose with the same demeanour – shouting at the person at the receiving end?

Gbagaun! So, one morning, I decided I will take a closer look at the “calling” man. Lo and behold, he is a mad man, using a phoneless-phone to make arbitrary call. Wow, listen to the content of the call..

Can’t you see it under the cupboard…
Are u mad? Check the locker…
Oghini? what is wrong with you?
Am running late, ani ma kporgi later…

Um wonders indeed shall never end.

On getting to Agege total junction too,there is a man who helps in controlling the traffic every morning between 5am and 7am. If you ply that route, you will understand my point. He screams and shouts, using a stick or plastic rod to hit erring motorist sometimes. Every time I passed him on that junction, I wonder if he is still sane but somehow,the work is being done and results are racking up. Don’t know if I should laugh out or cry seeing a grown man like that every morning.

Yours truly just finished reading @deboadejugbe’s article published on ekekeee.com about Lagos mind. Um I can’t forget two experiences I had with professional beggars like that.

The first guy was putting on a suit very early around 5am where I was waiting for the staff bus in Abule Egba bus stop. I did not really have much on me that day, but seeing a well dressed man asking for transport fare to work, I obliged and gave him my lunch fee only for the man to start asking the next person beside me telling an entirely different story. On close inspection, I discovered he was wearing suit with a bathroom slippers. Like a month later, I saw the same man, this time in Apapa around 7pm asking me for transport fare with another set of well rehearsed story. I looked at him and burst into good hearty laugh.

The second scenario was similar but this time, it was a woman around her late forties or so. She strolled to the bus I was in in Ikeja under bridge. She said she needed transport to somewhere and she even had the temerity to name the amount, I think hundred or two hundred naira. The smoothness of her English and the cockiness she exhibited caused every body to start laughing. Just yesterday morning again,I saw the same smooth speaking woman in Oshodi doing her thing. I just remembered the previous incident and burst into laughter.

It’s a Lagos where dreams are forced into working. Dream or get dreamed out. If not, device an amazing begging spirit and poof, your troubles are all washed away.

I’m @newnaija and @TT007newnaija on twitter

One thought on “Hilarious but true VI by Isaacola AA

  1. Those ‘pro’ begging people have their ‘cousins’ in Ibadan aß well. I know of a young woman who carries a baby around Mokola Roundabout. She does her thing anytime from 7 p.m. She has ‘relocated’ to Challenge now. These issues abound in our society owing to varill reous reasons.
    We believe in ‘giving’ and ‘sowing’ and doing to that these bus stop and road side people is to some, more acceptable than to others who are too ‘comfortable’ to beg. I could go on and on. Good one sir. Bless


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