Advice to my son – Isaacola AA

Honesty, they say is the best policy but to you my son, NEVER! That maxim is unacceptable, impractical and at best jejune. Dishonesty is the best and only policy acceptable and workable in this land (Niagra area).

Never ever contemplate in your life to become anything or anyone in life without first of all learning the ropes from known crooks and dupes in the field.

For any meaningful impact you wish to have in the land of Niagra area, you have to be a certified liar; myopic in your overall vision (that is if you care to have any). The mentality of a warlord is to replace that of statesmanship. Romance and copulate daily with mediocrity. Blame any and everyone imaginable and always have a ready-made excuse for failure. Never accept anything less than failure because failure is success in this land.

Steal as much as you can. Corner our collective patrimony and domicile them in foreign lands. Cultivate an insatiable greed along with a gluttonous appetite. Steal only in zillions because there and then, you can be granted presidential pardon if caught, the emphasis on IF.

Don’t you ever make the mistake of stealing in thousands because you will end up for decades behind bars in our numerous God-forsaken, death traps called prison. Make sure you amass wealth crookedly to the tune of zillions of dollars so you can only spend three weeks behind bars in an exotic hospital watching EPL and UCL in your exotic refinement called confinement! And that after circus of litigation upon litigation ending in absurd judgment delivered by one of the crooked Judge.

Hear the advice of your aged father! My grey hair is a function of experience garnered over decades in Niagra politics and politricks. Tacitly support armed groups and then grant them amnesty. You will be reaping double in the sense that you’ll be paying yourself and then doubling security votes. Aha, I know you know my “reverse psychological” theorem.

Buy every opposition to your style of mismanagement and “………” anyone that can’t be bought. I know you are a wise son and can read between the lines.

Never ever accept responsibility for anything going wrong! Always blame the ENEMIES of progress and the collective children of anger! Pay foreign media to give a doctored interview laced with blatant lies sorry I mean “colored truth” and never receive live calls on a live program especially that enemy station called “channeled” Oga at the top for it is still very fresh in minds of the people.

Cultivate all regional militants by giving them juicy and juicier contracts to get into their good books as you project your ambition for 2016 selection.

Never mind that graduates earn peanuts as Corpers serving the nation under the NYSC scheme; quadruple minimum wages for militant.

Surround yourself with prayer “worriers” with their ecclesiastical robe and soiled mitre. Buy jets and helicopters for them so they can see favorable visions for you. Make sure you grant the preachers amnesty in the form of tax exemption, despite their numerous business ventures. These businessmen in robes think only in terms of MONEY. They have power over the crowd. Just kneel down in the biggest gathering and they will believe you are the humblest and holiest! They always have short memory. Use the short memory for your advantage Son!

The list is getting longer but the last but not the least; keep the advice of Late Sage Adedibu in focus whenever you need to do anything; “a public servant must be a good liar, be able to swear an oath and must be able to fight dirty at all time”.

Datzall for now my son.
I’m @newnaija on twitter

PS

We shall be discussing role of youth in politics laying emphasis on the apathy of youth towards politic with people of like minds on twitter around 6pm on friday 12th April 2013

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