The following conversation or I dare say argument ensued when I boarded a commercial bus heading towards Victoria Island from Ikeja one monday morning. I was dressed in a skirt suit though fitted, with light makeup, weavon and a gold wrist watch. Dressed official in the colour code of my office for a monday morning.
A man dressed in a shirt and trouser that had seen better days stood up in the bus and started preaching. His preaching I had nothing against but it seems I was singled out for his rhetoric condemnation that morning.
(Fuming with self righteous indignation)
Preacher: you will go to hell except you repent. You ladies wearing trouser, you are condemned to eternal burning in hell…
Me : what do you mean, mr man, I’m the only lady in this bus why don’t you just face me directly instead of parambulating?
Preacher : you that wear trouser, it is an abomination to the Lord!
Me : but that is not all mr man, do you eat frozen fish especially titus, sardine and dolphins?
Preacher : yes I do
Me : then you are going to hell too, you eat scale less fish, welcome to hell.
(The preacher was fuming in the mouth with rage)
Preacher : you fry your hair and paint your face! That is visa to hell.
Me : your wife plait her hair which the Bible expressly forbid. You and your wife are heading to hell.
Preacher : you paint your lips and nail with the blood of aborted babies! Hell beckons.
Me : the hottest portion of hell is reserved for you brother,your trouser is wool and your shirt is nylon. Its against the law of God.
Preacher : you are challenging my God lady. See the gold you are wearing and the tightness of your outfit, you are luring me to commit sin.
Me : wow, the problem is your heart! You are looking at me lustfully, you have already committed fornication in your heart!
Preacher : you are carbon copy of Jezebel. Hell is your destination!
Me : (I can’t take the insult anymore) hear me preacher man, Jesus committed to us the ministry of reconciliation and not condemnation. Trying to keep the laws will lead you further away from the Lord. Hear me, your heart must be made right and grace must be allowed to work in you and through you.
The love of God is the only thing that compel men to God. Your message of brimstone and fire are unnecessary…
The preacher notorious for high sounding messages of condemnation opened his mouth but words failed him…
I believe he knows better after the encounter.
This is purely a fictional work.
I’m @newnaija on twitter