Bus Tales 1 – Isaacola AA

Welcome to a new series which promises to be filled with tons of fun and rib cracking jokes. Yours truly is grateful to Dako Alice Temitope (@emini_Anoti) for painstakingly working behind the scene in editing and proof reading. I am grateful and also all the writers that have sent their contribution and will send, you are the BOSS.

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Shuffling, pushing and wriggling through the throng of people trying to get a foothold in the dilapidated “molue” , sweating profusely and not minding the well starched white shirt already giving sign of giving up as a result of the rapidly increasing sweat pouring out of all orifice in my body. I threw my gentility away in a bid to escape the rain that was already threatening to burst the sky seams.

After much puffing and huffing, I managed to secure a seat. I was sandwiched between two women and a scripture quickly jumped to my mind “blessed are you among women” which I coined to mean blessed are you between women(s).

The arduous journey began with more people standing than sitting which brought to mind the prophecy of The Abami Eda (Fela) in the famous suffering and smiling. The bus belched a heavy smoke and coughed severally but through the dexterity of the old driver, the bus moved on.

Then came the professional marketers selling all manner of drugs, churning out all manner of diagnosis and cure that will shame medical doctors and pharmacies. My chemistry background was questioned when I heard the alarming analyses of the sellers. They were selling a drug that cured almost ten ailments that are even not related like cold and running stomach. I just blanked my mind to the droning while people especially the women flocked to buy the drugs.

While still trying to turn deaf to the noise of the fake pharmacists, I heard a noise at the end of the bus and before we knew what was happening, a young man and a lady were having a shouting fit. The lady accused the guy of sexually harassing her by rubbing his thing on her bum. After much talk, the lady showed some sticky stuff on her backside where the guy was. Umm what a scenario, the guy was ashamed but the journey continued still.

There was an unhealthy scream from a woman at the back. Before we knew it, the woman was giving birth right inside the bus. The driver was forced to park while the women gathered their head ties to cordon off a section of the bus to give privacy. Within twenty minutes we heard the cry of a new baby while the women ran to get bag of pure water to clean the bus.

A journey from Sango to Iyana Ipaja took us from Sango to hospital and we ended up having one more passenger than we started with.

@newnaija

Episode 2 will be by @ovasabii on this platform, watch out!