We all have that one thing we can do better than the other; that is talent. Putting that one thing to maximum profitable use; that’s wisdom! – InkHeart
I sat to think about what my life would be like in the next two years. I would have successfully graduated from a university and with a second class upper too. I would go for the one-year NYSC and probably be employed at an IT firm doing what I don’t like. I would go to work and scream at everybody except my boss in order to keep the job. I would probably be the mean, grouchy lady at work that nobody wants to have anything to do with. I would close from work everyday and probably dump my annoyance on everyone around me including my boyfriend. He would dump me and go for a much nicer lady that would not nag about how horrible her life is. I would remain lonely and depressed because nobody wants to talk with a lady that nags all the time, all because of a life that was chosen for me and that I hate so much.
Why do I have to what my parents want? Why do I have to care about what my siblings think? It’s supposed to be what makes me happy and fulfilled, right? So, if I decide I want to study something I really love and very good at, they are supposed to support me, right? They are supposed to encourage me, even if it is going to school to study fine arts. It is my life, it is supposed to be about who I want to be. I mean, when I’m hating my life, nagging about it and living a miserably lonely life, and am at the edge of loosing my sanity. I’m the one with a pathetic life, not them. So, why do I have to sit in school and listen to somebody telling me about how a resistor is measured when I’d rather be learning about how to polish my craft to perfection. I’d rather be a struggling artist than become the best computer scientist in the world and hate myself everyday.
I know my parents want the best for me and have my best interest at heart but this is far from my best interest. I already dislike the life I have. I attend classes and all I can think about is dropping out of school to do what I really want. I’m always tempted to call my parents and tell them I’m finally heading to that fancy arts academy with or without their help. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I do not respect my parents. I respect them a lot. In fact, I do mostly what I’m told to do which is why I’m in this dilemma. One time, my mom told me to choose between my stories and school. I chose and she told me I could go back and study arts but after my youth service. She said I’m still young and I have plenty of time to do that. Frankly, at 21, I don’t feel that young. I’m striving hard for a B.Sc I should have gotten at the age of 19. Sometimes, I wonder how sweet my life will it be if I had been allowed to go to the art class I really wanted in secondary school. I would have graduated two years ago and probably be working as an editor for one of the flashy magazines in the country. I would have probably been the youngest movie producer/director Nollywood has ever produced or the youngest CEO of a flourishing media company. I would sit and fantasize about how satisfying my life will be, how contented I will be about doing things that I love the most. I know I have a gift and I really want to edify my talents. I want to go to a school where I can learn how to be a better writer. I want to go somewhere I can be taught how to become a better editor. I want to go to a place where I can sit down with people like me and talk about things we love doing best. I don’t want to sit down with geeks and talk about something I have zero passion for. Most of the time, I don’t even understand what they are saying. I just look at them and imagine myself in an environment with like minds. I know my parents think I’m a dull kid with little potentials but they don’t know I like to skip school and party all I want because when I’m in class, I’m miserable. I barely even talk to my course mates. I love school. I’m a huge fan of western education. I love to read and study everything I can. I know I can go to school, study anything I want and get straight A’s but not at the expense of a fulfilled, happy life I want to for myself. I want to go to school and learn about arts. I want to study something that I’m passionate about. I want to study english, mass communication, creative arts; anything that will improve my arts. I want to learn and become better, so that I can give to the society what God has given to me. I know what I want I to be and I want it badly. It’s not wrong for my parents to want the same thing for me right? I want to wake up everyday knowing that I have something beautiful and interesting going on in my life. I want to look back and say I stood my ground and I’m proud of what I am. I want to be happy with the I life I chose for myself not what I was forced to choose. I want to make my own mistakes. I want to live my dreams and fulfil my destiny. I want to live a life not conformed to the opinions of others. I want to a life that I won’t regret. I know I deserve that much.
Alice Dako Temitope is on twitter as @emini_ANOTI
This is a new series in which we will be looking at Life n Choices we are faced with and it will be out every other thursday.