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Seeing my life today, I have the cause to attribute quite a lot to decisions made at different times, in different situations and for different reasons. For many, I am grateful. For some, I kick myself and for some others, well, its all just there.
I am lucky to have less overbearing people as parents and would say a big thanks to them for letting me make many of the decisions that have shaped my life thus far. At least that way they do not get the blame for my failures because I made my choices all by myself. Rather, I get their blessings and support.
Even though I wrote the entrance examinations into Federal Government College and International School Ibadan (ISI), I ended up at Olivet Heights due to my love for being in the Boarding House. To be honest, I knew the entrance exams were just formality as I’ve gone to my mom on her arrival from work one day to tell her I wanted to go to Olivet Heights. I wanted Olivet because of our neighbour’s son then who attended the school and was in same age group with me.
Of course while at Olivet Heights, my life took a turn from my ‘butter-ishness’. No Momma’s rice, no ready washed and ironed school uniform, no pampering. I learned a lot more about being decisive and factual. I saw life from a different perspective. The ‘little boy in me’ screamed Ibadan all the time but it was a phase I could not have been more grateful for. Even when I had cried and felt I was suffering in school while my people at home were enjoying, I look back at those times and feel very grateful for that experience. It was one of the life shaping experiences I had.
Time came to make the step up to senior secondary school and owing to my desire to be back in Ibadan, I took the entrance into a College of Science. That was where the first slight divergent view my Dad expressed manifested. He saw my natural inclination towards the Arts but saw my desire to be in the Sciences. Despite that, he gave me all the support I needed although he still said regularly that I would do better as an Arts student. The choice for me was made, and I am glad I did.
As young as I was then, I knew I could construct sentences effortlessly due to the solid background my journalist Dad gave to us as kids. I wanted uncharted territories, something that would be more challenging. Of course I got that in the Sciences. Physics and Chemistry showed me hell! I failed regularly but I was willing to do better, and that I did. Improving before my O/Levels and making my papers, though I failed Chemistry well. I cannot even balance equation till now (*covers face).
English Language was always an easy ride. I never prepared for the exams. It was not challenging enough and I knew I would possible have had it easier in the Arts. While success is appealing, of what use is it when you stroll into it without having anything to show as challenging and demanding efforts?
I initially wanted to study Computer Engineering. Of course, I got a score that gave me Animal Science after my pre-degree. I had the option of changing departments but I did not study hard enough to make the required grade. I was always writing poems and stories, and reading novels when I should be in class. The result was the weak grades I had that made ‘crossing’ impossible. I stayed back in my Animal Science and today I am fulfilled. It was a choice made by the higher force governing my life.
Today, I look back with happiness at my life and the choices I have made. If I had been an engineering student, maybe I would have graduated five years late. I simply was not cut out for the Engineering life. Though, some of my friends that studied one engineering course or another are more financially stable than I am today, I find fulfilment in my Animal Science and my little writing. I am happy doing my writings in my farm office while having the birds I tend to at the back of my mind.
A sneak peek at my emotional part is something else. I take a look at the ‘what-might-have-beens’ and the ‘assumptions’. It gives me this feeling I do not like but is quickly replaced it by the “His perfect will and not my permissive will” though.
I started dating someone who was a very good friend in my year two. We were always together. She was supportive and was everything I had prayed for. Very supportive during the terrible times and all. Lo and behold, after six years, she wanted away. I was shattered, I was an emotional wreck for more than a year. I hated the female folk. I did not want to have anything to do with any woman. All that has now passed and today, when I take it into perspective, I understand why we did not go to the next stage. I am sometimes tempted to see it as a waste of time but I steel myself from the thoughts of it being a misadventure and see it as one of the lessons one has to learn in life. When people ask me when I am getting married now, I just tell them it is my life, it is a choice I will make with God’s help, and when the time is right, they would know.
When I get my big head engaged in one of my numerous thinking sessions, I get different tunes from the choices and decisions I have made. Grateful, happy and contented by the good ones. Not so impressed by the bad ones and learned a lot of lessons as I trudge on in the journey of life.
Life n Choices comes up every other thursday. You can send your contributions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Bus Tales will continue soon. So sorry, family matters took a long drag on my time. Will be back fully soonest.