Bus Tales 20 – Isaacola AA

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I am very sorry for the little break, it was due to circumstance beyond my control, I hope my apology is taken?

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For Episode 19 here
http://t.co/uKzajvTn2a

Travelling from point A to B in Naija sometimes can be a mixture of comedy, tragi-comedy or an outright absurdity.

Public transport especially exposes one to the good, the bad and the ugliest, all blending in a concoction we call ‘Naija mix’.

I travelled to Akure the other day boarding “Sunshine Express” from Ojota and I was happy to see that the neighbouring passenger was a well dressed officious looking gentleman, who I presume to be in his middle thirties. He had an aloof “don’t-disturb-me” air all around him.

His cologne smelt affluence but his shirt betrayed the creamy, expensive smell of the cologne (in my opinion). He had a condescending look on every other passenger who passed beside him. Squeezing his face as if to say”why is this one’s skin touching mine” at all other passengers with his “I better pass you” expression.

The journey began with a commercial evangelist leading all forms of fire branding, saliva shedding/splashing, demon chasing and blood of Jesus pleading prayers. The motor-evangelist who preached after the prayer later asked for offering.

With his emphasis on the giving I concluded that he was more interested in the offering than in salvation of our souls. Don’t mind me, I am not against preaching but I detest every form of exploitation all in the name of religion.

I pitied the passenger sitting directly under the anointing of the spit baptizer. He was obviously uncomfortable but held his peace gracefully all through the long sermon.

The preacher alighted along the way and a semblance of peace descended on the bus. The peace was however short lived as the women sitting at the back started chatting loudly in Yoruba laced with Ondo dialect. The man beside me got so angry he had to shout down the women but the respite wasn’t long as the women again resumed their banter after few minutes.

Somewhere around Ore road, the aloof ‘na me be the best person on board’ man beside me started feeling squeamish and before long he voiced out “please I need to go to the loo”. I looked at him and smiled mischievously, thinking to myself “that what on earth is wrong with this guy?”.

After few minutes, he shouted louder again “driver, I say I want to toilet”. The driver fired the bus again and the not so gentleman shouted with sweat oozing out of every pore on his face “I wan shit” and as if on cue, the driver stopped.

The guy dashed into the nearby bush and his pant trouser was already cascading down his ankles as he bend down in clear view of all without shame.

I just faced the other side but within few minutes, all heads were turned in the man’s direction as he shrieked all of a sudden. The once gentle man rushing up clutching his privates, trying to dislodge the army of soldier ant fighting to lodge in the bushy private forest between his thighs ….

Isaacola AA
@newnaija

Episode 21 comes up on Wednesday 23rd October.

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12 Replies to “Bus Tales 20 – Isaacola AA”

  1. “…army of soldier ant fighting to lodge in the bushy private forest between his thighs …”

    Lesson: Thou oh “fresh” man, be ye Fresh in the private as ye portray to be in the open. :p

    Like

  2. “…army of soldier ant fighting to lodge in the bushy private forest between his thighs …”

    Lesson: Thou oh “fresh” man, be ye Fresh in the private as ye portray to be in the open. :p

    Like

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