Watch out for “Life n Choices 7” by @Tomisinajiboye on thursday 21st November.
Episode 9 here
Living in the suburb of the city has its many perks, especially the drama and melodrama that is synonymous to it. The true “Naija mix” is more experienced when you live in the suburb, and more pronounced when it is in a “face me, I slap you” setting.
Many years ago, yours truly lived in such environment in… (let me keep the name of the area for security reasons).
We were two managing in a single room apartment with(OUT) kitchen or bathroom. The passage served as our kitchen whilst a roughly assembled corrugated iron sheet was used as our open-heaven bathroom and outhouse. The beauty of the outhouse (‘shalanga’ or latrine) and the bathroom is that you have unhindered access to heaven. Please don’t laugh.
One of my numerous neighbours then was Uncle Jay who lived in the last room to the left. He was a commercial motorcycle rider popularly called “okada” or “achaba” depending on your leaning. His wife mama Ada is a “tokunbo” (fairly used clothes) seller in one of the numerous markets.
‘Legend’ (gossip actually) had it that Mama Ada had no child because the husband was always beating her and could have damaged her womb during one of their uncountable boxing bouts.
Mama Ada will neither deny the mooted gossip nor confirm it but every other night we are always hearing shout, shriek and pounding of different degree from their locked room.
After each bout of fighting, both husband and wife are always seen holding hands and playing ‘Love in Tokyo’ to the consternation of their ‘aproko’ neighbours.
One day, the fighting escalated, the level of noise was louder than it normally was and we summoned courage to break the door when it seems all hell will be let loose only to be confronted with Mama Ada on top of her husband pounding him like undone “akpu”. We were surprised. Mouths opened and could not be closed due to what we saw. “Wow, so it is the other way round. Na Mama Ada dey beat Uncle Jay (Baba Ada) and she crying…”, one of our neighbours said.