Diary of A Dark Horse..Struggles 101

Diary of a Dark Horse.

Am I lost, or just less found on the straight or roundabout of the wrong way?

I could feel myself sinking away...being swallowed up by my weakness nd it killed me that no matter how many times I tried to walk away, I kept coming back to the beginning..I hid in my shame in shame. I hid in my shame in shame.

NOVEMBER 2011

I have to come to terms with myself. I have a problem and its killing me.
Some days back, I was in church and the pastor said we should write our problems on a piece of paper, lift them up to God and trust Him to solve it. It was my umpteenth time of scribbling this word. I wrote it so fast, folded the paper so that the guy sitting next to me who had been staring at me since the service began won’t see what I have been fighting with for almost 10 years. As I lifted my ‘unholy, polluted hands’  to God, a tear dropped on my shirt..it was my shame..I am pretty messed up and my heart prayed for the whatever time…”Father…

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