To my daughter – Isaacola AA

TO YOU MY DAUGHTER

My queen, this is a sequel to our last discussion. As you begin to plan towards settling down soon, let me reiterate some of the things I will be looking forward to in my soon to be son-in-law. You know I will never choose for you since that will be tantamount to the barbaric, archaic way of life to which I do not subscribe. I just want to remind you of some salient irreducible qualities which I expect, and will not compromise from your choice.

I am not going to limit you to an ethnic group or a section of the country, you already know my mind on such. I will respect anywhere your choice comes from but what I will not tolerate is a vision less tight fitting jeans cladded chap whose only qualification in life is B.Sc or M.Sc but can’t really do anything beyond the piece of paper sorry certificate he is wielding. No sorry young man will be coming to cart you away after all my investments on you without a well define vision and steps on how to fulfil those visions . Primarily, he must be purposeful and must have a clear cut vision of what he wants in life and how to get it.

You remember our private joke about how some future less boys are looking for future wife, where will they keep the wife in the future? Eyebrow raised in a question mark, wondering.

He must also have a healthy self esteem and not be a mediocre. Insecure men tend to batter their wife especially if the lady is the brainy type, like you. A sense of insecurity can be so overwhelming that brain is replaced with brawn in some men. Please make sure you are picking from a healthy family with high level of self worth. ‘Trashy’ men will treat others in a ‘trashy’ way since they do not know better. You can take a man from the slum but it will take a lifetime taking the slum out of the man. Abused men tend to end up being the abuser when they grow old, beware my angel.

You are not a converter my dear, never go into marriage thinking you will change your spouse, you do not have that power. Discuss about anything and everything if you plan giving out your precious heart to him. Remember dear little queen, that “we tend to be hurt the most by the people we love and trust the most”. Look carefully through the eyes of your heart and not through your hazy emotional eyes because emotions are highly deceptive, my dear daughter. The heart of a man is deep and no man, except God, can truly decipher what it is capable of doing. Therefore look through the eyes of the scripture when you want to make your choice.

You also know my stand when it comes to dressing and appearance my dear. A dreadlocks wearing, sagging trousered son-in-law is unwelcome in our home. I know you are a wise daughter and you know this. You and I know I am not against trendy dressing as long as it does not violate the first principle of dressing: comfort and convenience; and as long as it does not expose body parts in public that are meant to be private.

In conclusion, beware of those carrot jeaned sweet talking young men who are only interested in your treasured pot and turning you into a statistic of conquered ones. I know you have not forgotten the story I told you, of a wedding your mum and I went almost three decades ago where almost all the males in the hall had in one way or the other slept the bride plus including(don’t mind my English) the best man. She later confided in your mum that she was so ashamed she regretted ever playing animashaun (a willing giver) of her priced asset.

Hoping to hear from you soon my queen.

Your father
Isaacola AA
@newnaija