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PASTORAL DIARY 2
PD 1 here
Dear diary, something is better kept away from the prying eyes of the public. That is why I want to wash my dirty linen here where no condemning and judgmental eyes will see it.
Today was an unusual day. It started with cool breeze billowing softly through my partly opened window blind. The edge of the silky damask blind danced to the music played by the wind gently. Making it difficult for me to rise for my morning devotion like I would have loved to do. I was lulled by the sound and the surreal ambience in the room.
The more I tried to wrench my lazy bones from the claws of the duvet, the deeper I sank into its comfortably warm embrace. Sigh.
The reasonable part of me however suddenly remembered that I would be talking to the youth leadership of the church a little before sun down. I jumped off the bed and started my morning ritual.
Taking seven long steps in either direction of the door. One hour and forty-five minutes later, I was slouched on my mini-library table.
Studying my bible and taking references with new thoughts percolating in the grainy side of my subconscious mind. The topic I was studying was temptation.
Another forty-five minutes later, the study was concluded. I made a mental note to organize my thoughts and prepare my note, the note I would be delivering to the youth executives of the church later.
I resumed in my office sometime around ten in the morning. My day was already planned along the official counselling hour between noon and four in the evening and my meeting with the youth leadership immediately after the counselling hour.
I finished off my note on the key areas I would be discussing. My note was made based on the briefing I received from the departing Youth Pastor. I was already ticking off each points mentally.
I was clearing my table for the day when a stunning young woman walked in. She carried an unmistakable aura too powerful to be ignored. My jaw slacked immediately and I lost total control of my mouth. The muscles around my jaw suddenly went on holiday whilst my brain froze in what looked like eternity passed rolled into eternity present. My body was in horripilation mode. Rivulets of sweat begin to gather around my armpit forming a wet arc.
I sneezed gentlemanly, to cover my embarrassment. “Good afternoon sister, how may I help you?”. I smiled and added that the counselling period was almost over. I however trailed off in a futile attempt to start a meaningful communication.
She seemed to hesitate in a fraction of a second. Then she took my offered hand warmly and tilted her head in a way indicating respect. Her knees bent slightly too.
In a jiffy, my wandering eyes caught a sight of the fleshy mound on her chest. An automatic reaction occurred in my mid-section. My third leg suddenly came alive, struggling with my zipper to be let loose. My mind undressed her and was in the process of doing things unprintable to her, dear diary.
I commandeered my erring eyes away from the fleshy mound and pushed my hands into my trouser pocket to arrange my turgid member.
Instantly I remembered the admonition of one of my old lecturers in the Seminary.
“Your flesh is not born again, let it sink into your soul and spirit. It will always want to misbehave, don’t give it the chance”.
The import of that message that we all gloat about in school hit me like a thunderbolt.
The need to put my flesh under control became clearer to me too.
The daughter of Eve was not helping matters however. She was squirming mischievously. Saying she liked my teaching in the last bible study. My heart was busy rebuking the devil. My body was basking in the ocean of adulation while my mind was ….
God in his mercy saved me with the early arrival of the Youth leader. He just walked into my office and dropped his bag, excusing himself almost immediately as he noticed I had a visitor.
The spell was broken and all the squirming stopped instantly. Some scripture began to come alive in my spirit.
“Let him that thinks that he stand take heed lest he fall”.
“…for God is able to make him to stand”.
“Flee from all appearance of evil”.
I put my flesh under, so as after I preached to others, I will not be condemned.
I sighed heavily. God indeed is the one keeping me to stand.
Dear diary, I cannot imagine what would have happened if the Youth leader did not come in when he did. I vowed to never allow myself to be put into such situation again.
Like a friend of mine once said “the atmosphere for sex must be avoided with the opposite sex if you don’t plan to fall”.
Dear diary this is my confession today.